The Leonard Peikoff Drinking Game
by Matthew David Platts

• When he brings up the subject of David Kelley, take a drink.
• When he brings up the subject of David Kelley in connection with Adolf Hitler, Pol Pot, or worse - Immanuel Kant - take a drink.
• When he brings up the subject of David Kelley in connection with Ally McBeal or a dead British arms expert, take two drinks.
• When he uses the phrase "evil subjectivist fact-denying whim-worshipper," take 0.025 drink. There's no sense in overdoing it.
• When he uses the phrase "intellectual heir," take 0.01 drink.
• When he attempts to sell you a copy of "The Ominous Parallels," take 0.005 drink.
• When he declares himself the authorised leader of all Objectivism, take 0.00025 drink.
• When he admits a mistake, withdraw yourself and your friends to a valley in Colorado, create a perfect society of free trade, achievement and friendship, and begin the world anew.

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